Posted: Jul 10, 2013 2:07 PM by NBC News
Updated: Jul 10, 2013 3:39 PM
(KUSA) Kaylan Bailey is 14.
"One Direction, they're like half my life," she said with a huge grin.
Her walls tell the story. Once in her room, it's clear you're in teenager territory.
"Teen Wolf, One Direction, my friends from camp, my cheerleading girls. They all make me happy," Bailey said.
Then there's what she keeps tucked away, including her feelings that creep into her consciousness most days.
"I never really think about it unless I'm alone," Bailey said. "[I'm in the theater,] my family and my best friend and I were all on the floor. And Ashley, she's screaming Veronica's name and I'm trying to tell Ashley that she's fine because I can feel her breathing. I can see part of Veronica's wounds."
Veronica Moser Sullivan is the youngest Aurora theater victim. She was 6 years old when she died. Bailey babysat her a few times. She clings to every memory, including a $10 bill she was given as payment for the last night she watched Veronica, the night before everyone went to the movies.
Veronica's mom, Ashley Moser, was pregnant at the time. She lost her baby and is now paralyzed.
"The childhood I could've had was stolen from me, childhood sounds so childish, the teenager life I could've had was stolen from me," Bailey said.
The 14-year-old had to grow up before her time.
"I feel like I have to be more mature. I'm just pretending that I'm older than I am," she said.
It's maturity that began with a day, a moment.
"Here I am almost a year later, with some other people who are still depressed. It gets really tiring after a while," she said. "I don't know if I'll get better. I want to."
She has to. She's 14.
"But where I am right now? I don't see how it's possible," she said.
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